{"id":13404527,"url":"https://github.com/wesbos/dad-jokes","last_synced_at":"2025-05-15T08:05:36.084Z","repository":{"id":19824321,"uuid":"23085269","full_name":"wesbos/dad-jokes","owner":"wesbos","description":"dad 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Dad style programming jokes\n\n\u003e submit your own, if they make me laugh I'll merge them.\n\n---\n\nUnfortunately these jokes only work if you git them.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What can you do if you cannot push your git changes?\n\n**A:** Use the `--force`, Luke\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Which body part does a programmer know best?\n\n**A:** ARM\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Relationship status?\n\n**A:** I'll leave the relations to the database.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How do you get the code for the bank vault?\n\n**A:** You checkout their branch.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How did the developer announce their engagement?\n\n**A:** They `return`ed `true`!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the security conscious engineer refuse to pay their dinner bill?\n\n**A:** Because they could not verify the checksum.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do you call a busy waiter?\n\n**A:** A server.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do you call an idle server?\n\n**A:** A waiter.\n\n---\n\n```\n[Please Enter New Password]\n\nfortnight\n\n[Error: Password is Two Week]\n```\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?\n\n**A:** Yes.\n\n---\n\nI’ve been hearing news about this big boolean.\n\nHuge if true.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What diet did the ghost developer go on?\n\n**A:** Boolean\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why was the developer unhappy at their job?\n\n**A:** They wanted arrays.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did 10 get paid less than \"10\"?\n\n**A:** There was workplace inequality.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why was the function sad after a successful first call?\n\n**A:** It didn’t get a callback.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the angry function exceed the callstack size?\n\n**A:** It got into an Argument with itself\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?\n\n**A:** Inheritance\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the developer ground their kid?\n\n**A:** They weren't telling the truthy\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did the array say after it was extended?\n\n**A:** Stop objectifying me.\n\n---\n\n**!false**\n\nIt's funny 'cause it's true.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Where did the parallel function wash its hands?\n\n**A:** Async\n\n---\n\n**Q:** I'm starting a band called HTML Encoder\n\n**A:** Looking to buy a guitar \\\u0026amp;\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the functions stop calling each other?\n\n**A:** Because they had constant arguments.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What's the second movie about a database engineer called?\n\n**A:** The SQL.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why doesn't Hollywood make more Big Data movies?\n\n**A:** NoSQL.\n\n---\n\nA programmer's significant other tells them, \"Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.\"\n\nThe programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did the spider do on the computer?\n\n**A:** Made a website!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did the computer do at lunchtime?\n\n**A:** Had a byte!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What does a baby computer call his father?\n\n**A:** Data!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the computer keep sneezing?\n\n**A:** It had a virus!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What is a computer virus?\n\n**A:** A terminal illness!\n\n---\n\nI never tell the same joke twice\n\nI have a DRY sense of humor.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why was the computer freezing?\n\n**A:** It left its Windows open!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why was there a bug in the computer?\n\n**A:** Because it was looking for a byte to eat?\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the computer squeak?\n\n**A:** Because someone stepped on its mouse!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard?\n\n**A:** A screensaver!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Where do all the cool mice live?\n\n**A:** In their mousepads!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant?\n\n**A:** Lots of memory!\n\n---\n\nJava truly is an OOP language...\n\nAs in: OOPs I used Java!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How do programming pirates pass method parameters?\n\n**A:** Varrrrarrrgs.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How do programming shepherds count their flock?\n\n**A:** With lambda functions\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What airline do developers prefer when they're in a rush?\n\n**A:** Delta.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How did pirates collaborate before computers ?\n\n**A:** Pier to pier networking.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why don't bachelors like Git?\n\n**A:** Because they are afraid to commit.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks:\n\n**A:** Can I JOIN you?\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Where is a slow query's favorite fishing spot?\n\n**A:** The latency.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How does a developer make a cheer?\n\n**A:** [\"hip\",\"hip\"] // (hip hip array!)\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why was the developer's family upset with them at dinner?\n\n**A:** They forgot to git squash before going home\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did JavaScript call his son?\n\n**A:** JSON!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did the proud React component say to its child?\n\n**A:** I've got to give you props\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did the server say to his client who was having a bad day?\n\n**A:** Everything's going to be 200\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the stoner attend the cryptography conference?\n\n**A:** They heard it would be a Hash Function\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the developer go broke?\n\n**A:** Because they used up all their cache\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Are computers dangerous?\n\n**A:** Nah, they don't byte. They just nibble a bit.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How did the mafioso kill the Node server?\n\n**A:** Tie await to it and let it async.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** You know what the best thing about booleans is?\n\n**A:** Even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why do UPS drivers get nervous when their internet is unstable?\n\n**A:** Because they might lose packets.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why couldn’t the user update a file on a shared server?\n\n**A:** They didn’t have the write permissions\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do you do when you can't understand your husband's behavior?\n\n**A:** man man\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?\n\n**A:** A URLogist\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?\n\n**A:** None. It's a hardware issue\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?\n\n**A:** Because 31 OCT == 25 DEC\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why do kayakers make bad programmers?\n\n**A:** Because they're afraid of waterfall.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why do C programmers write their letters in **bold**?\n\n**A:** Because they're **strongly** typed.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What are computers' favorite snacks?\n\n**A:** Microchips, phish sticks, and cookies. But just a few bytes of each.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do computers love to do at the beach?\n\n**A:** Put on some spam block for protection so they can safely surf the net while catching some .WAVs!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do you call a computer that sings?\n\n**A:** A-dell.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What's a compiler developer's favorite spice?\n\n**A:** Parsley.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** When do front end developers go out to eat?\n\n**A:** On their lunch `\u003cbr\u003e`.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** A SQL developer walked into a NoSQL bar.\n\n**A:** They left because they couldn't find a table.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How do you help JS errors?\n\n**A:** You `console` them!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why don't parents teach their kids about regular expressions?\n\n**A:** Because they don't want them playing with matches\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why was the developer complaining at the hotel reception?\n\n**A:** Because they couldn't find room 404\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why didn't the `\u003cdiv /\u003e` get invited to the dinner party?\n\n**A:** Because it had no class!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why aren't cryptocurrency engineers allowed to vote?\n\n**A:** Because they're miners!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the constant break up with the variable?\n\n**A:** Because they changed.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the database administrator leave his wife?\n\n**A:** She had one-to-many relationships.\n\n---\n\nAsynchronous JavaScript is amazing.\n\nI Promise you, await and see.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did the Class say in court when put on trial?\n\n**A:** I strongly object!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why do Java developers wear glasses?\n\n**A:** Because they don't C#!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What are the three hardest problems in computer science?\n\n**A:** Naming things and off-by-one errors\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did the fruit basket say to the developer?\n\n**A:** I hope you're ready for some pear programming!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How does a sysadmin keep a fire going?\n\n**A:** They rotate the logs.\n\n---\n\nI've got a great UDP joke but I'm afraid you wouldn't get it...\n\n---\n\nA programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code. They refused to comment.\n\n---\n\nThere are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** I love you and I only love you. Does that turn you on?\n\n**AND GATE:** No.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why do all HTML emails get blocked?\n\n**A:** Because they are all `\u003cspan /\u003e`.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did the process say after working in an infinite loop all day?\n\n**A:** I need a break.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** An Agent died unexpectedly. How was the crime solved?\n\n**A:** By looking at the Stack Trace.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the document store go out of business?\n\n**A:** It had NoSQL.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why can't SQL and NoSQL Developers date one other?\n\n**A:** Because they don't agree on relationships.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why is Python like the Soviet Union?\n\n**A:** Because it has no private fields\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Where did the API go to eat?\n\n**A:** To the RESTaurant\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why shouldn't you trust Matlab developers?\n\n**A:** Because they're always plotting something.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the developer have to quit smoking?\n\n**A:** Because they couldn't afford to pay the new syntax.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How does a programmer open a jar for their significant other?\n\n**A:** They install Java\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did the psychic say to the developers?\n\n**A:** I see dev people.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Where does the pirate stash all of their digital treasures?\n\n**A:** RAR\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What is React's favorite movie genre?\n\n**A:** Suspense\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why couldn't the React component understand the joke?\n\n**A:** Because it didn't get the context.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did XHR say to AJAX when it thought it was being a Mean Girl?\n\n**A:** Stop trying to make fetch happen!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What was Grace Hopper's favorite car?\n\n**A:** VW Bug\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What sits on a pirate's shoulder and calls, \"Pieces of seven, Pieces of seven\"?\n\n**A:** Parroty error.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What is a pirate's favorite programming language?\n\n**A:** You'd think it was R, but a pirate's first love is Objectively C.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the programmer come home crying?\n\n**A:** His friends were always boolean him.\n\n---\n\n**-** Knock Knock!\n\n**-** An async function\n\n**-** Who's there?\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What PostgreSQL library should Python developers use for adult-oriented code?\n\n**A:** psycoPG13\n\n---\n\nThe next time you're using Safari or Firefox and it's running slowly, you can say to yourself, \"[I could've had a V8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld8eAH0MW00)\".\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do you call a beverage that is 75% Root Beer, and 75% Ice Cream?\n\n**A:** A Float\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What accommodations did the JavaScript developer request at the hotel?\n\n**A:** A room with a Vue.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Where do developers drink?\n\n**A:** The Foo bar\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why was the engineer upset when the bartender served them `1` shot of whiskey?\n\n**A:** Because they thought they ordered a double.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why do assembly programmers need to know how to swim?\n\n**A:** Because they work below C level.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Who used the internet before it was cool?\n\n**A:** Httpsters\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What kind of computer can hold a musical note?\n\n**A:** A Dell.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did the web developer always go to the wrong hotel room?\n\n**A:** They were in room 301.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How do you stop a web developer stealing your stuff?\n\n**A:** Write 403 on it.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why are machine learning models so fit?\n\n**A:** Because they do weight training.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why did Gargamel shut down the internet?\n\n**A:** Because he didn't want people **SMURFING** the web!\n\n---\n\n**Q**: What did the command line die of?\n\n**A**: A Terminal illness.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Did you hear what the clumsy cryptographer did to their password?\n\n**A**: Made a hash of it.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why are keyboards always working so hard?\n\n**A**: Cause they have two shifts!\n\n---\n\n**Q**: What are clouds made of?\n\n**A**: Mostly linux servers.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why did Tom Selleck never git commit anything?\n\n**A**: Because he thought he mustache his work.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: How does Mr. Potato Head (dev edition 0.0.1) remove his mustache?\n\n**A**: git stache pop\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why can't you use 'Soup' as your password?\n\n**A**: Because it isn't `stroganoff`\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why do developers use mechanical keyboards?\n\n**A**: To strongly type their code.\n\n---\n\nA new database query walks into a bar.\n\nThe server says \"Sorry, cache only.\"\n\n---\n\nWhat's the best tool for automatically ignoring long email threads about tech buzzwords?\n\n\"Block-chain\"\n\n---\n\n**Q**: What is a developer's favorite country song?\n\n**A**: Hello World - by Lady Antebellum\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why was nobody given food at the developer conference?\n\n**A**: It was a serverless function!\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why did the developer cancel their dinner plans?\n\n**A**: They were unable to fulfil peer dependencies\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why did the functional programmer finally move out of their house?\n\n**A**: For(e) closure\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why do cryptographers never have more than 2 kids?\n\n**A**: Because after Alice and Bob, they can't think of any other names\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How do JavaScript developers break up?\n\n**A:** They always promise to callback\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why do developers mixup Terminals and Polygraphs?\n\n**A:** Because they both can see a lie (CLI)\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Did you hear about the programmer that was scared of IDEs?\n\n**A:** They retreated back into their shell\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do you call optimistic front-end developers?\n\n**A:** Stack half-full developers.\n\n---\n\nChuck Norris can take a screenshot of his blue screen.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Have you heard the one about the Corduroy pillow?\n\n**A:** It's making HEADLINES!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Hey officer! How did the hackers escape?\n\n**A:** No idea. They just ransomware.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why can’t data engineers become hat makers?\n\n**A:** They can only guarantee two thirds of a CAP!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** How did the hippie learn about database transactions?\n\n**A:** By taking ACID\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why is it called the Dark Ages?\n\n**A:** There were a lot of KNIGHTS!\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did the Network Administrator say when they caught a nasty virus?\n\n**A:** It hurts when IP\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Which programming language is the shortest?\n\n**A:** HTML. Because it doesn't have a neck between its `\u003chead\u003e` and `\u003cbody\u003e`.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: What good can come of 2989 witches casting a hex?\n\n**A**: None, it is always 0xBAD\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Did you hear about the witch who was off by two when casting a hex?\n\n**A**: They failed to make the target DEAD and made them DEAF instead!\n\n---\n\nI went to a street where the houses were numbered 8k, 16k, 32k, 64k, 128k, 256k and 512k.\n\nIt was a trip down Memory Lane.\n\n---\n\nLisp programmers don't make prank calls. They make `FUNCALL`s\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why do Front-End Developers eat lunch alone?\n\n**A**: Because, they don't know how to join tables.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: What advice do you give to a JS developer who has never played baseball?\n\n**A**: Try catch.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Got any funny DNS jokes?\n\n**A**: Yeah, but it may take 24 hours to get it.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why were A \u0026 B so frustrated?\n\n**A**: Because they couldn’t cd…\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Where do programmer dad's store their jokes?\n\n**A**: In a dad-a-base.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why was the developer MEAN to React?\n\n**A**: Because they preferred Angular.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why do Websockets make the best therapists?\n\n**A**: They are always listening.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why did the ALU refuse to add two subnibbles.\n\n**A**: Because it refuses to be seen doing a two-bit operation.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: How do you know your baby is going to be a developer when they grow up?\n\n**A**: Their first word is \"Hello world!\"\n\n---\n\n**Q**: What kind of image saved the day?\n\n**A**: The HERO image!\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why do programmers prefer dark mode?\n\n**A**: Because light attracts bugs!\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Does this vaccine contain a microchip?\n\n**A**: I don't know for sure, but it must be ARM based.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: How do you make a 4D Printer?\n\n**A**: Take a 3D printer and give it some time\n\n---\n\n**Q**: Why do astronauts use Linux?\n\n**A**: They can't open Windows in space!\n\n---\n\n**Q**: How do front end devs like their brownies?\n\n**A**: GUI\n\n---\n\nSome languages can be read by humans, not by machines.\n\nOthers can be read by machines but not by humans.\n\nXML solves this problem by being readable to neither.\n\n---\n\n**Q**: What do hackers do on a boat?\n\n**A**: Phishing.\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What is the most used language in programming?\n\n**A:** Profanity\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why couldn't the HTML list be trusted?\n\n**A:** There were LI's everywhere\n\n---\n\n**Q:** To the person who invented zero\n\n**A:** Thank's for nothing\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do you call a bee that lives in America?\n\n**A:** A USB\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did Wonder Woman and Spider-Man name their business?\n\n**A:** Amazon Web Services\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What’s a Jedi’s favourite programming language?\n\n**A:** JabbaScript\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What do you call a 3.14 meters long snake?\n\n**A:** Python.\n\n---\n\nwant about to a race conditions hear joke?\n\n---\n\n**Q:** What did the .NET developer name their boat?\n\n**A:** Sea Sharp\n\n---\n\n**Q:** Why do developers listen to Led Zeppelin when they build APIs?\n\n**A:** To help them RAML on.\n\n---\n**Q:** What is a Package Managers favorite holiday?\n\n**A:** Dependency Day\n\n---\n\n","project_url":"https://awesome.ecosyste.ms/api/v1/projects/github.com%2Fwesbos%2Fdad-jokes","html_url":"https://awesome.ecosyste.ms/projects/github.com%2Fwesbos%2Fdad-jokes","lists_url":"https://awesome.ecosyste.ms/api/v1/projects/github.com%2Fwesbos%2Fdad-jokes/lists"}