https://github.com/eye-wave/i-am-a-surgeon

astro build minifier with zero regard for sanity
https://github.com/eye-wave/i-am-a-surgeon

astro astro-integration astro-plugin minify minify-css minify-javascript svelte terser

Last synced: 26 days ago
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astro build minifier with zero regard for sanity

• Host: GitHub
• URL: https://github.com/eye-wave/i-am-a-surgeon
• Owner: eye-wave
• License: gpl-3.0
• Created: 2025-06-06T18:21:14.000Z (12 months ago)
• Default Branch: main
• Last Pushed: 2025-06-06T19:22:27.000Z (12 months ago)
• Last Synced: 2025-06-06T19:34:01.985Z (12 months ago)
• Topics: astro, astro-integration, astro-plugin, minify, minify-css, minify-javascript, svelte, terser
• Language: TypeScript
• Homepage:
• Size: 63.5 KB
• Stars: 0
• Watchers: 0
• Forks: 0
• Open Issues: 0
• Metadata Files:
  • Readme: README.md
  • License: LICENSE

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README

          
# i-am-a-surgeon

![license](https://img.shields.io/badge/license-GPLv3-blue?style=for-the-badge)

![breaks things](https://img.shields.io/badge/may_break-your_build-critical?style=for-the-badge)

![prod ready](https://img.shields.io/badge/production_ready-hell_no-critical?style=for-the-badge)

> [!WARNING]

> This was done as a half-joke, half-serious attempt at squeezing every last bit out of an Astro + Svelte build. If it’s not obvious already: **THIS IS NOT MEANT FOR PRODUCTION.**

When Astro finishes bundling, this thing crawls through `dist/` like a raccoon with ADHD, doing some or all of the following:

- **fontCleaner** – removes unused fonts

- **removeUnusedCssVariables** – if you’ve got a massive CSS theme and aren’t using most of it, this helps a bit

- **compressCssClasses** – shortens ugly Astro/Svelte classes like `svelte-x18sz2 → a` 👍👍

- **compressCssVariables** – turns every CSS variable into `--a`, `--b`, `--c`...

- **convertOklabToHex** – rewrites bulky OKLab values to short hex (3-digit when possible)

- **stripErrorMessages** – nukes error messages because who needs to debug, amirite

- **extraTerseHtml** – extra-aggressive HTML minification (Astro islands are spared... mostly)

- **leStupid** – commits semantic crimes by shortening well established syntax with Regular Expressions.

- **extraTerse** – more rounds of unsafe JS minification

- **compressFileNames** – renames every JS and CSS file to `a.js`, `b.css`, `c.js`, etc.

All of these are enabled by default, so you’ll need to opt out in the plugin options if something breaks. And trust me, it will.

Minification fails and you ship a broken site? — haha whoops 🐈

---

### Installation

⚠️ Don’t.

But if you want anyways:

```sh

bun add -d github:eye-wave/i-am-a-surgeon

```

~~Oh, and if you’re not using **Bun** or a **Unix-based OS**, this won’t work 😸~~

It **should** be crossplatform and work on node, but i haven't tested yet 🙀.

---

### 🧾 License

Licensed under the **GNU General Public License v3.0 (GPL-3.0)**.