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https://github.com/shlomif/why-openly-bipolar-people-should-not-be-medicated

Why openly bipolar people should not be medicated
https://github.com/shlomif/why-openly-bipolar-people-should-not-be-medicated

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Why openly bipolar people should not be medicated

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[id="main_doc"]

Why Openly Bipolar People Should Not Be Medicated

=================================================

Shlomi Fish 

v0.2.0, 2019-11-23



[id="alan_turing"]

Parallel with Alan Turing

-------------------------



image::./alan_turing.webp[Photo of Alan Turing]



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Turing[Alan Turing] is known as one

of the fathers of theoretical computer science, and he also played an

instrumental role in protecting Britain against the attacks of the

German Nazi forces during WWII.



However, Turing is also remembered that because he was openly

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality[gay], he was forced to be

treated with medication to resolve his homosexuality, was hospitalised

and eventually was led to commit suicide.



In 2019, most developed countries accept homosexual and bisexual

individuals as fully sane and acceptable, and do not try to medicate the

homosexuality out of them. Here in Israel, openly gay, bisexual and

lesbian individuals are subject to the same rights and responsibilities

as straight individuals, and while a few issues are still a matter of

unresolved debate, a gay person can lead a fully normal and healthy

life, without being sedated and medicated.



But it’s not all roses.



[id="hypomania_as_new_homosexuality"]

Hypomania and MDD as the new Homosexuality:

-------------------------------------------



I have had https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder[Major

depressive disorders] and

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypomania[Hypomanias] and even one major

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mania[Mania] and several shorter manias.

This is documented on my https://www.shlomifish.org/[homesite] and other

online social media writing.



Now here is a revelation:



....

post-WWII :: Turing :: homosexuality <=> 2019 :: Me (= Shlomi Fish) :: Hypomanias

....



And I have been medicated and sedated with harmful drugs and now

hospitalised in a psychiatric ward, where my access to the outside world

is an interconnected Windows 7 computer full of malware, instead of the

better managed https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desktop_linux[GNU/Linux desktop] boxes I can use at home, along with all my online accounts,

which I’d rather not access here (for security reasons).



A committee of several experts has made me stay in the ward for several

two week segments, trying to rehabiltate me, while I would be happier

and receive better therapy in my room at home. I missed

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosh_Hashanah[Rosh Hashanah] and

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Talk_Like_a_Pirate_Day[International

Talk Like a Pirate Day] - two of my favourite holidays and I am about to

miss https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yom_Kippur[Yom Kippur] and

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukkot[Sukkot], which sports the

http://2019.iconfestival.org.il/[ICon Festival] which I find very

inspiring.



Someone asked me if I feel I am comparable to Turing. Well, according to

https://www.shlomifish.org/me/resumes/Shlomi-Fish-Resume-as-Writer-Entertainer.html[my Résumé as a writer and entertainer] I am even comparable to such

historical great people as

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Wall[Larry Wall] (who is also quite

obscure), https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sesame_Street[Sesame Street] ,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer[Buffy the Vampire Slayer] , https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beatles[The Beatles] , and

other

https://www.shlomifish.org/philosophy/philosophy/putting-cards-on-the-table-2019-2020/#hacker-monarchs[hacker monarchs].



Right now I am playing the old

https://www.shlomifish.org/philosophy/philosophy/putting-cards-on-the-table-2019-2020/#fox-in-the-hens-coop["fox-in-the-hens’-coop"]

motif like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_%28Genesis%29[the biblical Joseph] in prison, or Summer Glau in

https://www.shlomifish.org/humour/Summerschool-at-the-NSA/[Summerschool at the NSA] , in which case what happens when you put a

https://www.shlomifish.org/philosophy/philosophy/putting-cards-on-the-table-2019-2020/#great-hackers[Great Hacker/Action Hero] in a secluded place with many minor hackers, and

several lazy "I just work here" people who do their job in the worst

possible manner, is not a crashed great hacker, but instead many happy

hackers workers who are happy to provide their customers with royalty

service, even if they are not paid a lot to do it, and many hacker or

great hacker inmates.



[id="taylor_swift"]

Taylor Swift as a hypomania-"sufferer"

--------------------------------------



image::./taylor_swift.webp[Photo of Taylor Swift]



If you’re into contemporary music, you likely have heard of

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taylor_Swift[Taylor Swift], a very

successful singer-songwriter who is known for her interesting narrated

lyrics, positively extravagant and mind-blowing videos, constant

philantropism (which does not prevent her from becoming richer), and a

rich YouTube culture of youtubers who cover her songs, parody them,

remix them, and comment on them. I realised that she became a

https://www.shlomifish.org/philosophy/philosophy/putting-cards-on-the-table-2019-2020/#hacker-monarchs[Hacker Monarch] - one of several by the time I and other

https://freenode.net[freenode]ers

https://www.shlomifish.org/humour/fortunes/show.cgi?id=sharp-gnu--think-big[joked]

about her suing Apple Inc. for using the "Swift" trademark for

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swift_%40programming_language%41[Apple Swift].



Now here is a revelation: based on the

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=lyrics+taylor+swift+shake+it+off[lyrics] to

Swift’s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM[hit song "Shake It

Off"]: "I stay up too late" , "got nothing on my brain" it seems

that she is often hypomanic but instead of battling it, she enjoys it as

she is more creative, more energetic, more insightful and more

socialable and interesting.



[id="hypomania_is_ok"]

Hypomania is OK

---------------



Hypomania has been believed to be treatable with medication, just like

homosexuality in Turing’s time, but I pretty much know the medication

only causes many harmful side-effects, and in my case increasingly

deprives me of physical energy. My parents thought that using these

drugs allowed me to graduate from a B.Sc. in

https://github.com/shlomif/my-real-person-fan-fiction#the-technion-vs-project-euler[EE in the Technion]. Hoerver, not only did they not help, but I now know

that these were the 6 and a half most soul destroying, unproductive,

useless, and uninspiring years of my life.



That was because the only reason I continued to learn there was because

I wanted to get the diploma so I’ll get more lucrative, higher paying,

jobs. If I studied in the Technion or elsewhere, because it was fun, and

to expand my horizons, or become a more effective writer / software

developer /

https://www.shlomifish.org/humour/fortunes/show.cgi?id=paul-graham-what-ameteur-meant[amateur]

philosopher / entertainer , then it would be less of a torture.



In this day and age people can learn enough about all that by starting

from https://www.shlomifish.org/[my homesite - www.shlomifish.org] and

following the text of the essays, stories and screenplays, and links.

While it took me a long time to hone my skills to my level, I wish

future people who wish to try to emulate me, to have an easier time. I

may be a badass writer and entertainer, but given that I know I should

https://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/["Publish or Perish"]

and love to share my wisdom and knowledge anyway, and wish people to

learn from my mistakes and my successes.



Most of my screenplays, stories, bits, factoids,

https://www.youtube.com/user/ShlomiFish[the few videos I have on

YouTube] (which are very lame compared to the videos of Taylor Swift,

but they are a start), https://twitter.com/shlomif[my tweets] etc. were

inspired by thoughts I had during hypomanias, and I quite enjoy it.



Sometimes I get into periods of mild

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder[depressions]

during which I like to code a lot and to chat less passionately and

philosophically on IRC. Or I get into "deep work mode" when I write or

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code_refactoring[refactor] / transition a

lot of code or churn a large amount of text. These are also ok.



Taylor Swift should not be worried from being medicated for being

Bipolar. She may do "strange" things such as:



* Paying for anything she orders from a meal down to a soft drink, a

glass of juice, or even some water, with a 50 USD bill telling the

vendor/waiter to keep the change or donate it to charity (or give it to

her, only to witness her leaving it on one of the tables for whoever

wishes to take it).

* Walk alone in the neighbourhood thinking.

* Staying up at night chatting in social media chat rooms

(e.g. https://freenode.net[Freenode], https://discordapp.com[Discord],

https://telegram.org[Telegram], and

https://shlomifishswiki.branchable.com/How_Alternatives_Proliferate/[many

others]), while ordering food or drinks from time to time.

* Engage in conversations with complete strangers, to whom she will even

gladly https://twitter.com/shlomif/status/1175578541292957696[give

money].

* Eat various foods based upon a whim. I once ordered a warm pasta meal

in the morning, and the restaurant complied.



Policemen are unlikely to detain her, and she can use social engineering

and

https://www.shlomifish.org/philosophy/philosophy/putting-cards-on-the-table-2019-2020/#benevolent-psychological-warfare[benevolent

psychological warfare] so they just give her a ride back home, or leave

her alone while thinking that her behaviour just "comes with the

territory".



Perhaps I have mischaracterised Ms. Swift here, but the point is that

these behaviours, although eccentric, unconventional, and non-conformist

are perfectly logical, and I will do the same if I were a wealthy

bipolar person.



[id="my_treatment"]

The Sad Story of My Treatment

-----------------------------



However, I am not so lucky.



In the break after my second Technion semester, I started writing

https://www.shlomifish.org/humour/TOneW-the-Fountainhead/[The One With The Fountainhead] - which is a parodical crossover of

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fountainhead[Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead] and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friends[the Friends T.V.  show], and which is one of the funniest, most politically incorrect, and

yet some people’s favourite of my screenplays.



Moreover, I corresponded with my friend https://zak.co.il/[Omer Zak] and

we came up with the opening meme to the

https://www.shlomifish.org/philosophy/SummerNSA/[Summerschool at the NSA] effort.



All of this made me maniacal and out of control and I came up with an

imaginary reality where

https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Star_Trek:_Deep_Space_Nine[Star Trek DS9],

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer[Buffy],

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabrina_the_Teenage_Witch_%281996_TV_series%29[Sabrina],

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarissa_Explains_It_All[CEIA]

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Neo-Tech[Neo-Tech], various characters

from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judaism[Judaism] , some of their

actors, and some of my own friends and relatives, were real and

integrated together, and believed this was true.



I had done a lot of crazy stuff during my mania, but eventually a

psychiatrist asked me if I thought if it sounded logical that I could

read other people’s minds, and I told him it didn’t. As a result, I

snapped out of the mania.



Afterwards, I have been treated with harmful drugs that had many side

effects, and did not prevent future hypomanias or other mood swings.

Furthermore, my hypomanias were incredibly productive for me resulting

in stuff I placed on https://www.shlomifish.org/[my homesite] - and on

other social media sites, and which many similar minded hackers (both

male and female) enjoyed, complimented me for it, thought they were

funny, or alternatively thought they were

http://shlomifishswiki.branchable.com/Encourage_criticism_and_try_to_get_offended/[blasphemous (which indicates they were true)].



But the people who wanted me to be "mentally healthy" told me these

things were irrational, wrong, "schema-driven" and that they were

nonsense and that I should not give them weight.



They were wrong! They were insightful, fresh, and endured their time.



Now, while I have suffered from many harmful antipsychotics -

https://twitter.com/shc_mo/status/1180165973556506626[it may still be fixed] but what if instead of these harmful legal drugs, I would have

been treated with good therapy, possibly

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy[Cognitive behavioral therapy] or more preferably

https://www.shlomifish.org/philosophy/philosophy/putting-cards-on-the-table-2019-2020/#benevolent-psychological-warfare[Saladin-style benevolent therapy].



How many potential Taylor Swifts were forced to be a "Shlomi Fish"

like me, who despite all was very productive and insightful, or were

just hospitalised and sedated and fought against by mediocre minds, who

think conformism is mental health, while

https://www.shlomifish.org/philosophy/philosophy/putting-cards-on-the-table-2019-2020/[it is the opposite]. Furthermore, conformism leads to Nazi-style

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superior_orders["Superior orders" / The "Nuremberg defense"], including the "I just work here"

https://www.joelonsoftware.com/2004/12/06/news-45/[small minded attitude] which leads to sadism and vandalism and loss of lives and

property that took a lot of effort to construct by hard working,

enthusiastic individuals.



So I say: "do what you want, not what you feel you must. The choice is

in your hands. Whatever you do, I’ll accept that." These words go back

at least to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moses[Moses], were

http://shlomifishswiki.branchable.com/Saladin_Style/[exemplified by Saladin] and were extended and conveyed by greater and greater "memes"

including https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7HiMv5jygk[Taylor Swift’s "Shake it Off" song] and the somewhat more established

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2RZXeQc5HU["Highway to Hell" song by AC/DC] (these are both links to two of my favourite covers of them).



=== A Million Psychiatrists can be wrong



Some people think that a million psychiatrists (and the mass media)

cannot be wrong, but they can. In other news, everyone

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth[knows the Earth is flat], and

that the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galileo_Galilei[sun and all the planets revolve around the Earth], and that

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Darwin[all species of animals were created about 6,000 years ago], and that

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bertrand_Russell[unmarried couples living together and having premarital sex] is unethical and immoral. And,

naturally, homosexual individuals are a menace to society and must be

medicated and sedated.



=== Please don’t take anger the wrong way



My psychotherapist told me that anger and rage were typical of being

hypomanic. I feel that my rage, although criticised by other people,

does serve a useful and natural purpose.